We all have them!

The coworker who makes your job harder. The one who challenges everything you say. The one who doesn’t trust your decisions and subtly, or not so subtly, shifts their responsibilities onto you.

Sound familiar??

I’ve been there. And so have many of my clients.

Many of my clients deal with coworkers who push boundaries, offload their responsibilities, and leave them feeling accountable for work that was never theirs to begin with. The worst part? Leaving them completely drained of energy

So why does this happen? and what can you do about it?

Why do difficult coworkers exist?

Because people are complicated!

No one shows up to work as a perfectly polished professional version of themselves. They bring their past experiences, insecurities, stress, and emotional baggage with them.

Some manage it well. Some compartmentalize. And others unintentionally (or knowingly) project it onto others.

The “energy vampire” may thrive on attention or negativity. The coworker who micromanages may lack confidence. The one who constantly challenges you may fear losing control.

We can go on and on about “what’s wrong with them”. But can you really change them? No! So what can you change?…how you react to them!

What can you do about difficult coworkers?

1. Set Solid Boundaries
If you don’t set boundaries, others will set them for you. Difficult coworkers often test limits.
Example:
A coworker says, “Can you just finish this for me? I’m overwhelmed.”
Instead of immediately saying yes, try saying :
“I’m currently focused on my own deadlines. I can take a look tomorrow if that helps.”
or say “Per project plan, these items are assigned to you, so it’s your responsibility to complete them“

2. Reset Expectations (Create Clear Rules of Engagement)
Sometimes conflict isn’t about personality, it’s about unclear expectations.
Example:
A colleague constantly interrupts you in meetings or overrides your ideas.
“I’ve noticed we sometimes talk over each other in meetings. I’d love for us to make space so we can both contribute effectively.”


3. Breathe Before You Respond
When emotions rise, you NEED to pause. Your power is in your response, not your reaction.
Example:
A coworker challenges you in a meeting in front of others.
Breathe. Pause. Then respond:
“Can you clarify what outcome you’re aiming for?”


4. Be Confident Enough to Call Out Unprofessional Behavior
You are allowed to advocate for yourself.
Example:
Someone talks over you repeatedly.
“I’d like to finish my point.”
After the meeting:
“I felt my input was cut off earlier. It’s important to me to be able to contribute fully.”

5. De-escalate Before You Escalate
Not every issue needs to go straight to management, but patterns should never be ignored. Address it directly (when appropriate). Document patterns and interactions. Loop in your manager if needed.
Example:
A coworker repeatedly tries to delegate their work to you.
Keep track of requests and your responses. Then speak with your manager
“I want to make sure priorities are aligned. I’ve been receiving additional tasks from X that fall outside my role. Can we clarify responsibilities?”
This isn’t complaining- it’s setting expectations.

I hope this helps. Keep doing your task. You don’t owe your emotional stability and peace to nobody but you. Remember!

Stay Confident!

Alisha

Breathe. Pause. Speak. LLC