We all have negative self-talk from time to time, no matter how strong we are. What matters is how you react when the negative self-talk shows up.

My Story

Self-doubt and imposter syndrome have been part of my journey since I became an immigrant. I came to the United States in 2015, alone, away from my family and friends in India. Why did I do it? Because I was seeking an adventure. I wanted exposure to a different part of the globe, and I wanted to pursue my MBA, and so I did at the University of Georgia and graduated in 2017.

The journey wasn’t easy. From jet lag to not having a bed to sleep on those first nights. Culture shock. And underneath all of it, self-doubt. I looked different. I sounded different. I acted different.

But here’s what I’ve learned – this part of the self-doubt journey isn’t unique to immigrants. It’s common across almost everyone, regardless of background. I like to call it “main character syndrome”.

I like to call main character syndrome as that quiet, exhausting belief that everyone is watching us, judging us, that we are in the spotlight at all times. That people can see our lips trembling, sense our internal sweating, notice every crack in our composure. This feeling is REAL! So now what do we do about it?

Do you need someone else to validate you?

Here’s the truth – if you haven’t yet learned to face that inner critic head-on, you end up needing someone else to validate you, to call you out, to confirm you’re doing okay, at all times. I’ve seen this over and over, in myself and in the people I coach.

Picture this, you’re in a professional meeting. You’re nervous. And some part of you is almost bracing to be “found out.” That right there is imposter syndrome at its finest.

So What Can You Do? It’s Time to Face Your Inner Critic and….

A.C.T. – yes, the pun is intended. You need to act your way through self-doubt and imposter syndrome.

This is my signature framework for building confidence, clarity, and leadership presence:

• Anchor – Ground yourself and calm your nervous system before you speak.
• Connect – Shift your focus from self to contribution.
• Transform – Step into and embody your leadership presence.

Let’s Talk About Step One: Anchor

The first step is always to anchor. Before anything else, check in with yourself and calm your nervous system. Here is your 5 point daily checklist to reduce nerves and stay confident:

Your 5-Point Daily Checklist to Anchor In and Reduce Nerves

1. Check in with yourself. Pause. Notice how you’re actually doing.
2. Be kind to yourself. Swap the harsh inner voice for the one you would use with a friend.
3. Remember what matters most. Your physical and mental health comes first, always.
4. Breathe deeply, on purpose. Take one full minute. Inhale and exhale on equal counts.
5. Repeat your anchor statement. A short phrase that brings you back to yourself, say it silently or out loud.

I talk more about why we get nervous, and the science behind our fight-or-flight response, in my recent talk at UNC Chapel Hill. You can watch an excerpt from my talk here:

Stay confident. And be yourself!

Alisha

Breathe. Pause. Speak LLC